- What if the trend in China was for people to get a tattoo in English, and they decorated themselves with random words, such as fingernail or bookcase, believing it made them look all deep and spiritual?
- What if agencies were set up to facilitate rich Korean parents in adopting white babies born into struggling single-parent Swedish households?
- What if rich Filipino households employed poor struggling jobless Brits with university degrees as domestic servants?
- What if the bestselling segment of Asian porn was interracial and featured Asian men gang-banging white females, all of whom are dressed as underaged schoolgirls?
- What if Asian men all saw white women as fetish objects and used pick-up lines on them, such as, “Hey my barbie doll! You love me loooong time!?”
- What if Asian movies always featured white females as being sexually available to Asian males... and white males were all portrayed as asexual and never given so much as a kissing or bedroom scene?
- What if Asians were to pull their eyelids wide open or pinch their noses to mock white people about their features, then insist it was all done in good humor?
- What if white folks considered it wrong to make squint-eye gestures at Asians, but were perfectly fine with making fun of blacks, and they decided to prove that by walking into a black neighborhood, tugging at their lower lips to “imitate” African features and demanding that nobody should be offended, because it’s actually a “friendly compliment?”
- What if Asian movies always featured Caucasian males as bizarre caricatures, cowards, asexual or effiminate, and showed them as deserving targets of open denigration?
- What if Hollywood were to exclusively cast Asians in starring roles, while relegating all white men to being fresh-off-the-boat immigrants and cowboys, and as sidekicks to the Asian hero?
- What if Asian men expected all white people to step aside for them in narrow corridors?
- What if Asians related all white males to Chuck Norris and went "Wooo-hah! Chuck Norris!" every time they met one?
- What if Asian movies were to cast Asian actors in “whiteface” to play the part of Caucasians, rather than hire real Caucasians?
- What if white tourists in Asia were all greeted in Russian with “privet,” because the locals wanted to show off the one and only “European” word they knew, and they assumed that all westerners were Russians or at least speak Russian and wouldn’t mind being mistaken for one, because it’s all same-same to them?
- What if Korean tourists demanded that menus throughout Europe, particularly in France, be printed in Korean too?
- What if China held annual “World Series” games that only featured Chinese teams?
- What if every single Asian movie that ever touched on American history highlighted General Custer and his ultimate defeat?
- What if every Asian tourist in the West patronized Americans and their silly little ways, and behaved like they had a secret agenda to promote their own religion, culture and politics?
©Zak Keith, 2014
